A Papparazzo's Dream
by rockangel160
Summary: Dexter is a photographer for a gossip column whose wildest dream has come true. He has discovered the scandalous SkywalkerAmidala affair. Now he will spend years trying to get the right photo to impress his boss and make his enemy green with envy.
1. Chapter 1

Photographer's Log: **ENTRY 78**

Let me clarify this once, and one time only. I am NOT a paparazzo. I am simply a magazine photographer who specializes in celebrities. This morning, that newcomer, Jetra Bix, really set me off. She was bragging all morning because her photo got the front page this week. Seriously, what were the odds that she was there with a camera at the same spot at the same time where Senator Amidala's ship exploded? She's a newbie, so she has got nothing on me. I've been working here at the Weekly Galaxy for two years now, and I've earned my spot as a photographer for the gossip section.

This afternoon, my boss called me into his office for my next assignment. I was hoping I could take the case on the assassination attempt, but no. All my boss wanted me to do was follow Senator Amidala and that Jedi Skywalker. Are you kidding me? The only time, Senator Amidala is in the paper is for her "going green" work and in the pages of our "Fashion Dares" article. The duchess of prudence couldn't possibly give me any scandalous photos for the gossip section! Don't even mention that Skywalker kid. He's a Jedi. They are all about rules. These guys aren't going to give me any good photos for my article. Oh well, the first rule of this business, never go against your boss.

They left this afternoon on a refugee ship trying to disguise themselves, but they couldn't fool me. Skywalker always wears that braid of his which makes him highly distinguishable in the crowd, or at least to me. Also, I can spot that R2-unit anywhere, that woman hasn't left without it by her side for about a decade now. I didn't really keep much of a distance when I followed them, but they were too busy looking at each other to notice me. Huh, that's weird. While they were eating, they were laughing and joking. I took a shot of them. This could really give people ideas. Maybe this trip could be productive after all.

As they got off, the first place they went was the town hall. Wow, shocker. Next, they went to her parents' house. Hah, I'm not surprised. The first place the little princess wants to go is her mommy and daddy's house. How sweet. Once, they got to the lake house, things got interesting. She changed into this skimpy rainbow sundress which could come off in seconds. Wow, that's not something you expect from Naboo's most respected politician. They walked over to the balcony where they were chatting. In order to get a good look, I needed to swim towards them and take a shot from the water. Let me tell you, swimming with a 5 pound camera around your neck is NOT easy.

When I finally got to a nice spot I saw Jedi Skywalker putting the moves on her. What kind of universe was I in? I think it might be Gossip Heaven, because this is pure gold! A skimpy dressed senator and her Jedi lover boy, my boss is going to love this! I took some shot quickly, but I got a little overexcited with the camera. Just as they were about kiss, I dropped the camera! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! I missed the perfect shot! Oh well, maybe later these love birds will go for it again and I'll get my shot that time. I will make it my life's mission to capture these two in the act!


	2. Chapter 2 Naboo Paradise

A/N: Yes, I know I take a long time for such short chapters, but I was spending time on finals this week, so chapters should come quicker than before.

Photographer's Log:** 79**

I didn't want take forever to get to this lake house again, so I made a risky move and spent the night here. Don't worry; I didn't do anything stupid like sleep in one of her many guest rooms (not that she'd notice); I just pulled out a blanket in pillow and slept in the closet. It's actually very roomy in there.

This morning, I realized I had forgotten to pack food, but there's no way I'm leaving right now! So, I had to sneak some Neonan red cheese from the kitchen. I tried to get a piece right after they ate. I snuck into the kitchen and just as I was about touch it I heard a voice.

"Hey, who are you. What are you doing here?"

I turned around; it was Skywalker! Crap! I'd been caught! I stuttered for a minute, but I quickly came up with a brilliant idea. I grabbed the hat that was on the counter.

"I'm the chef." I responded.

"Chef? I thought she had a droid do all the cooking." He glared at me.

"Well, someone has to make sure the droid gets the order right and make sure the droid is working properly!" I told him.

"Oh, I see, carry on." He said as he walked away. PHEW! I thought I could never get that past a Jedi. Then again, he's been distracted by his Lolita recently. Speaking of which, this afternoon my front page news went out for a little picnic. But, these kids couldn't think of any place safer to eat than in a field of giant wild boars. Darn, it was so hard to take a picture without a humongous pig stepping on you! I nearly got trampled to death! I think I have a permanent scar on my face. They rolled around in the grass a bit, but still no kiss! C'mon, I'm dying here! What happened to that make out session from yesterday?

For dinner, the Senator changed into this smoking hot black dress. Ay Chihuahua, Mammacita! That Jedi totally wanted her; he was flirting with her all night. He even said his master's going to be very grumpy when he used the force to feed her an apple. Grumpy? More like all-out ticked! They sat on the couch near the fireplace, and he drew in for another kiss. However, she drew away. Dang it all! I was so close! Then they got into this argument about how it couldn't be that way. Hm, maybe she would have convinced him if she had put on a bra this morning. Oh, but wait, I think the Chancellor put a tariff on undergarments which everyone disapproves, so a lot of the Senate is boycotting underwear. Overall, they called it a night and I still didn't get a kiss shot. I didn't get hundreds of romantic pics though. Dang it, I will intentionally make them bump head or something tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3 The Enemy

A/N: Merry belated Christmas everyone!

Photographer's Log: **Entry 80**

I came out of the closet (ha-ha, laugh all you want you nerf herder!) this morning to sneak me some breakfast. When I got into the kitchen, the room was quiet. I figured Senator Amidala and Anakin Skywalker hadn't woken up yet. They must be exhausted this morning, maybe they stayed up last night. Gee, I wonder why? Well, if I couldn't get a kiss shot; maybe, just maybe I could get a _different_ shot. I knew it was beneath me, but I was desperate at the time. I crept up to the main bedroom, and set my shutter on silent. I didn't even look into the room. I just held my camera in the doorway and snapped the photo. When it developed, the picture was of an empty room! I looked in, no one! I thought maybe they snuck into a different room, so I search the whole house. The place had been abandoned, I tell you! I thought maybe they went out, so I walked onto the balcony and looked at the lake. Absolute emptiness! Well, maybe they went to the market or something, so I waited. Three hours went by, and no one came. I finally decided to check the garage. Why didn't I do that in the first place? Anyway, the garage was totally empty, as well.

Kriffing sithspit! They left me! They left me before I could get a shot of their kiss. Well, on the bright side, I still have the saucy photos of this trip. Today's population will go crazy fro anything, with or without a kiss. So I bought a ticket to go home to my boss, the editor-in-chief of Weekly Galaxy. He should still be happy with these pictures, just as long as I don't tell him I dropped the camera right before the kiss.

When I finally got home, I took the photos straight to my editor. He seemed very pleased, but I saw him double checking through my stack looking for the non-existent picture of a kiss. What's the big deal with a kiss, anyway? Why is touching lips sealing the deal? I got a picture of them rolling in the grass; that should be enough!

When I left the office, none other that Jetra Bix was standing in the hallway, waiting for me. She had a smug look on her face. My head instantly boiled, but I calmed down as I held my photos close.

"So Dexter, how did your little trip go?" She stopped me before I got to the exit.

"For your information, Jet, it went very well. Check out these hot shots I got of Senator Amidala and Anakin Skywalker." I told her.

"The Jedi?" She asked.

"The very same." I answered. She looked through my pictures. She was surprised, but not for long. What seemed like envy was actually pride as she handed my photos back saying,

"No kiss, Dex?" Ugh, again with the kiss! Well, it's not like she could have done any better! That heavy camera would've dragged her scrawny little neck down to the bottom of the lake!

"Nope, these two are way too smart to kiss during daylight." I told her. She scoffed me. The little brat actually scoffed at me! It was then that I noticed she had some photos of her own in her bag.

"And what are those, Jet? More of Palpatine and his entourage?" I asked her. She whipped them out proudly.

"Actually, it's pictures of the battle of Geonosis. It happened this evening. These babies are going on the front page first thing tomorrow morning!" She walked off saying the last few words.

That Kriffing amateur! She thinks she's better than me. Well, I'm not taking it anymore. I'll show that kid who runs this photo joint! I'm going to get that shot of Amidala and Skywalker if it's the last thing I ever do!


	4. Chapter 4 The Perfect Shot

A/N: Happy New Year Everyone!

Photographer's Log: **Entry 536**

I'm embarrassed, truly I am. It should not take me TWO YEARS to get a picture of a couple kissing. Within 6 months, it'll be three years since I first got an inside look of the Skywalker/Amidala affair. The problem is, since the war started, the Jedi are always out on duty, especially Skywalker. It'll be months before he can come home to his lady. Another thing, these kids know people like me want a picture of them, so they pick the top secret of spots. I found them once hidden in the sewers, but it was too kriffing dark for my camera to get a picture. I've been doing all I can to try to get Skywalker back on Coruscant; I even joined a "Bring the Troops Home" campaign.

This morning, at the office, I was at the cooler with some of my co-workers, including Jet. I was just taking a drink when I saw the paper she had in her hands. What gave me a shock was the headline: SEVERAL JEDI KNIGHTS GIVEN BREAK. Oh please, PLEASE, let Skywalker be on break. He's called the Hero with No Fear around here; if anyone needs a break, it's him. I tried to get Jet to hand over the article so I could see, but she just pulled it away. Stupid girl, if only she knew how important this was. Oh well, whatever's in the paper will also be on the Holonet. I turned on the monitor in the lounge, and there it was. A whole list of names of Jedi on break was scrolling on the news channel. Bingo! "Skywalker, Anakin" was on the list. Then the report said they were released this morning, and they should be home by now. Sithspit! He's probably home by now! I had to leave immediately, so I rushed out the door. As I left, Jet called,

"Hey Dex, what's the hurry?!"

"None of your beeswax, Jet!"

I ran as fast as I could to the Senator's apartment. Dang it, she lives in the penthouse on the top floor. What's so special about the top floor? If anything, it's the worse place to be. What if there's a fire? The least likely to get out would be those who live on the top floor. Anyway, how was I supposed to get up there? I couldn't take the elevator; nothing is more suspicious than going to a celebrity's apartment building with a camera. I don't even think I'd get through security. Amidala's security force is really uptight, and just because so many people have tried to kill her. I had a plan. I was going to go to the top of the building next door. Luckily, I brought my camera with extra zoom.

I could not have been more impatient on that next door building's elevator. Those people on the elevator with me must've thought I was a freak. Of course, if they needed a super secret pic, they'd be yelling at the elevator buttons too. Finally, I reached the top floor. I hope I didn't miss him. Scratch that, I _pray_ I didn't miss him. I looked through my lense, and bingo! A Jedi starfighter parked right next to the back entrance of her apartment. I focused my lense on 50 xs. Yep, it was Skywalker alright. There was also a cloaked figure in the corner. It must've been Senator Amidala, but my camera couldn't focus on her. It was already on the highest focus, so I would just have to lean closer. I was already on the edge of the building, when she removed the hood of her cloak. Then, they embraced in a passionate kiss. My camera snapped at the perfect shot. Finally! After two and a half years of stalking, I finally had a picture of them together! Ha, Jet is going to explode when I turn this into my boss!

In all my pride and excitement, I didn't watch my balance. The stupid support beam didn't do its job when I slipped over the edge and fell. Oh, cruel fate! Why must thou tease me in such a way! I finally get the perfect shot, and thou threw me off a building with my camera slipping out of my hand! It must've taken two minutes before I hit the ground. Ouch. I couldn't even feel my back anymore, and I felt like the blood was being drained from my head. There was a huge crowd around me. People were asking if I was alright. The last thing I remember saying was,

"My…camera." And then I blacked out.


	5. Chapter 5 The Slave

Photographer's Log: **Entry 537**

This morning, when I woke up, I was in the hospital! At first, I had no idea what I was doing there, but a few minutes passed by, and I remembered. I had fallen off of a 25-story building. I still don't know why or how I survived. The doctor told me I had been in a coma for 12 weeks. TWELVE WEEKS??!! Jetra Bix has had 3 MONTHS to score from my boss while I lay unconscious on the edge of death! That's not the worse part of it. This morning, when the nurse came in to serve breakfast she told me,

"It's a blessing you woke up. Your girlfriend was just about ready to pull the plug on you." Her words almost sent me back into the comatose state of mind I've been in all this time.

"My girlfriend?! I don't have a girlfriend!" I told her. She just stared at me confused.

"Well, a nice blond woman rushed into this room minutes after the accident. She looked so worried about you. She claimed she was your girlfriend, and she's been handling the paperwork all this time." The nurse told me.

"Did this woman have a camera around her neck?" I asked.

"Why yes, I believe she did." She said.

JET!!! That SITHSPIT of a woman!!! She's a conniving nerfherder!! Wait; she's worse than that, she's a conniving nerfherder's CHEAP hooker!!! Oh, when I get out of here, she is IN for it!!! Hey, why wait? I'll take her out right now! I got out of my bed, and instantly fell down. Ow, the hospital should really consider getting carpet, because tile is HARD and COLD. The nurse told me it takes a while for people who've been off their legs for a long time to get used to walking again. That nurse was so nice as to give me a hoverchair to move around in. I rolled as fast as a hoverchair can go to the lobby. Right outside the door, however, was Jet and the doctor.

"And you're absolutely sure about this, Ms. Bix?" The doctor asked.

"Yes, doctor. I know it'll be hard, but I know my Dex would want to go to his special place, and for me to move on in my life." That bride of the creature of the black lagoon lied. You know, she's a terrible actress. Well, I'll show her a special place! Just as I was about to barge into this conversation, I came up with a brilliant idea. Oh, this is the _sweetest_ revenge in the WORLD! I casually strolled down in my hoverchair until I got to Jet and the doctor.

"Jet? Is that really you?" I said as I came up to them. Boy, you should have seen the look on her face! She was as stiff as a protocol droid.

"Oh Dex! It's a miracle!" She said through her forced smile. I decided to have a little fun, so I pulled her into my lap.

"Jet, my darling! Oh, you know I couldn't leave this world knowing I had this gorgeous creature to live for!" I said as I put my arms around her waist. HA! The shallowness of her breath was PRICELESS!

"Oh Dex, I… missed you." She lied trying to act it up for the doctor.

"Oh, she's probably just shocked right now. Trust me, back in our apartment; she's going to be all over me." I told the doctor. Jet just laughed trying not to blow her cover.

"Well Ms. Bix, luckily your boyfriend can be out by tomorrow." The doctor said.

"TOMORROW?! Why… that's wonderful. Yes, I can't wait for him to come back to his…"

"OUR apartment." I interrupted her.

"Yes, our apartment." She fake smiled again. Then, I rolled away back to my room. As soon as we got there, she jumped up and slapped me.

"OUR apartment?!!! Has you brain come back yet, Dex?!!" She yelled.

"Hey, you asked for this, Jet. You _are_ my girlfriend, aren't you? We wouldn't want the Weekly Galaxy to post a story about a certain photographer _pretending_ to be a rival photographer's girlfriend in order to PULL THE PLUG ON HIM! Now, would we?" I grinned at her. She gave a sigh of defeat. Oh, I wish I had that on camera. Camera. MY CAMERA!!! I snapped out of my evil revenge plan to find my camera. It wasn't on the side table, and it wasn't in the lobby. Where WAS IT???!!!!

"Aw, did you lose something, sweetheart? Like your camera, for instance?" Jet taunted me. I looked up at her; she didn't STEAL my photos, did she?!

"For you information, it's in the trash can…in a million pieces." She said. Fate slapped me in the face then and there. My perfect shot, gone! I wanted to cry, but not in front of Jet! I simply turned to her with a smug.

"What's that look for? It's a little hard to be a photographer without a camera." She laughed at me.

"I know, that's why I'm going to use yours until I raise enough for a new one!" I told her. She stopped laughing.

"No way!" She said.

"Alright, then I'm calling the boss. He's going to love this scandal." I said picking up the phone. She stopped my hand from touching the dial.

"Fine. You can use…my…camera." She murmured.

"Aw, that's so sweet, darling!" I grinned again.

"So…I'll pick you up tomorrow, I'll pack, and we'll go to your apartment." She said as she left.

"Oh it won't be necessary to pack, my precious angel! We're living in YOUR apartment!" I called to her as she left the room. She just shivered and left. I just laughed.

Yes, I am _greatly_ hurt by the fact I lost the most important picture of my career, but I got something in return. JETRA BIX, the she-demon of the galaxy, is now _my_ slave! Muahahahahaha! Don't worry I will get that picture again. Skywalker and Amidala can't hide forever! I wasn't allowed to stay alive to fail again!

A/N: I know, I wandered off from the main story, but I just got the sudden idea to give our protagonist and antagonist a back story. I hope you, my faithful readers, will approve. We will get back to the photo, I promise. And next time there will be extra juicy stuff for the picture!


	6. Chapter 6 Origins

A/N: Yes, I know it took me forever to update, and I deeply apologize. Once school started again, I had trouble finding time to think of the flow of my story let alone type it. I'll try to find more time during the weekends. Anyway, this is more about Jet and Dex again rather than Padme and Anakin. I've already spent 3 months of the Episode II-III gap, so I'm trying to fill in the last two months before he comes back home, so don't worry, Anakin and Padme will be reunited soon.

Photographer's Log: **Entry 538**

Somehow the word spread fast about Jet and our "relationship." I only created the tale two days ago, and when I got back to work, everyone there was snickering at us. Jet just kept on with that fake smile of hers, and I just acted proud. Even our boss was in on it. Seriously, we walked into the office this morning and the boss was there to greet us.

"Hey, if it isn't our lovebirds! I _knew_ there was chemistry between you two! I could from the first moment you looked into each others eyes." He said.

First of all, CHEMISTRY?! We have _chemistry_? Second, I remember the first day Jet walked into this building. Our last current event photographer quit because he said he was just sick of the atmosphere of this place. I know burnt coffee and broken printer fumes are pretty annoying, but I wouldn't quit because of it, _sheesh_. What a whiner. Anyway, Jet was hired right out of college, and the boss said she had a lot of potential. Well, I guess she is pretty good. She has gotten a lot of good shots, and it sort of reminds me of when I started working here. So young, so excited, and willing to do _anything_ to get a good shot. Well, I haven't changed that much. I still drive by Senator Amidala's apartment every now and then to see if Skywalker came back. Ugh, I still have not forgiven myself for losing the perfect photo. Sometimes, I even cry at night. Of course I wait until Jet goes to bed first; I'm not an idiot. Anyways, he's been gone for, like, EVER! When is this war going to end?! C'mon, my golden boy needs to be reunited with his sparkling diamond! Okay, back to Jet, the first time we met was at the water cooler. I had seen her earlier giving photos to the boss, but I thought she was just free lance. Once she came to the coolers, I figured she must've gotten the job. I tried to introduce myself politely.

"Hello, you must be new here. I'm Dexter Snipley." I introduced myself.

"Yeah, I know who you are. You're the guy who took the photo of Bail and Breha Organa's wedding." She said.

"Yup, that's me." I was glad she knew of my work.

"Yeah, nothing personal, but, I couldn't really see the picture that clearly. I mean, for a moment, I thought it was Palpatine getting married! Ha, isn't that funny? Anyway, that was cleared up once I actually looked at the headline." She laughed. I'm sorry, but this would not be taken lightly. My photos are my art; they're my life! NO ONE criticizes my photos (except my boss)! My smile disappeared, and I just walked away slowly. She just called out,

"By the way, I'm Jetra Bix! I'll be looking forward to working with you!"

That's how our rivalry was born. I don't know WHAT chemistry my boss was talking about, because all I remember was pure hatred. Back to today, our boss said from now, he'll give us PARTNER assignments! Jet and I, working _together_? No way in hell! How am I supposed to get my shots of Skywalkidala if JET is with me the whole time?

Wait a second. Sniff breathe in huff breathe out. Well, we do have to share a camera right now. When I get my own, I'll see if I can sneak away at night or something. Yeah, I should start saving, maybe next week.


	7. Chapter 7 Revelation

Photographer's Log: **Entry 546**

Oh why, WHY did I decide to live at Jet's apartment? Why couldn't I just have her stay at my place? I already signed out of the lease for MY apartment, and it is nearly IMPOSSIBLE to rent a new one in the capitol city. Ever since the boss gave us partner missions a month ago, I haven't gone a minute without her! We wake up, eat, and go to work together now! How am I supposed to check on Senator Amidala if she's always there? On the bright side, I got a new camera! Turns out partner assignments are worth having Jet by me 24/7, because they pay SO much more. My new camera even has a cool new VIDEO function! Plus, I got a two-year warranty, just in case I have another nasty spill. This time, I will consider my own safety before taking a picture. I will go to the depths of the ocean, but I will remember the protective case and to keep the strap on my wrist.

You know, living with Jet isn't as bad as it was a month ago. Last month, no one spoke at the dinner table, but now we actually talk about stuff. Before, I used to sleep on her couch, now I have an air mattress in her room. That's actually pretty nice of her. She still hogs the bathroom in the morning! Seriously, I think she should just move her bed in there, and she'd never have to leave! I have to wake up at 4 in the morning in order to use the shower! Anyway, today I decided to take advantage of the time she uses in the bathroom. She had already been in there in the restroom, so I decided to start my work early. I snuck out of the apartment with my new special camera, and headed to Senator Amidala's apartment. It actually isn't hard to get close to her, she's always walking around on her veranda. Is she even aware that that part of her apartment is out in the open? Seriously, the whole planet can she her! So I drove by and hid behind this statue-fountain thing she keeps in the front. She was still in her nightgown, but she looked a little upset. She seemed to be pacing back and forth with her box of tissues. She kept whining, "Oh where is he? He has hasn't written or called! GASP Maybe something happened to him! No! He can't leave me like _this!_" Then, she fell into her chair and just cried. Then her little protocol droid walked in,

"Mistress Padme, is there anything I can do for you?" he said.

"Yes Therapies, could you please put those Kraken ribenes on the grill?" She asked.

"Pardon me, but I don't think ribenes are a decent _breakfast_ meal. They always seemed like a proper dinner or…"

"Threepio! Please, I really want Karkan ribenes right now! Oh, and some Algae bread." Padme complained clutching her pillow tightly.

"If you insist, M'lady" He said as he walked towards the kitchen. I decided to take a few shots of her complaining, because it was soon darn funny to watch. Boy, this is going in our "Stars in the Morning" article in the magazine. People love watching wacky behavior, especially from politicians. Seriously, she is acting strangely lately. She's so moody, and she's been gaining a little weight. It's not too bad, but any significant amount of weight gain, whether it's for the better or not, is vital in the world of us photographers. It's probably just stress from being taken away from her knight in shining armor.

After watching them for a while, I decided to head back to the apartment and try to catch the bathroom vacant. It wasn't, and we showed up to work with Jet all clean and pretty, and me all dirty and stinky. I decided to use the employee showers. Normally, I don't like to use them because the walls are always covered in mold, but I didn't want Jet to outshine me, so I had no choice. While I was in the shower, I made the stupid mistake of leaving my camera on my desk. Why was this a mistake? Because as soon as I was out of the shower, Jet was there to greet me holding my camera.

"All fresh now, Dex?" She asked me. It was a little awkward with me standing there in a towel.

"Yes, in fact I think I am. Why do you have my camera?" I tried asking casually. She turned it on and reviewed through my photos, and then she held up the Amidala ones on the memory.

"Gee, I don't remember the boss giving us any assignments on the senator from Naboo." She said deviously.

"Well, that's because that's from an old assignment I had." I said causally, for it was HALF the truth.

"The setting says it was taken this morning, genius." She said sarcastically. At this point I just turned pale. I tried to come up with another good excuse, but nothing was coming up. She glared at me and shouted,

"Alright, Dex! You're up to something and I want to know what it is!"

"Why do I have to tell you?" I said crossing my arms and turning my head.

"Because, if you don't I'm going to run out with THESE, and you'll have to chase me to get them back." She said holding up my clothes. AAAHHH! She could run out with those! I have a good reputation at this office, and I want it to stay that way! I just couldn't let her run away with those. I…I surrendered. I got down on my knees and told her about Skywalker and Amidala.

"Wow that was pretty bold of you Dex. What I can't believe is that it's been almost three years, and you still haven't gotten the photo. That's pretty pathetic." She said giving me my clothes back.

"Hey! It's harder than it looks! I'd like to see you try and get that photo! I shouted. BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE! She smiled at me and turned to go saying,

"Alright then, Dex. If you insist, we'll get that photo, and some of that credit will go to me." She giggled as she left. I just had to open my big mouth. Although, I'm surprised she's not going to take full credit. Hm, she seems different that who she used to be.


	8. Chapter 8 Daddy's Home!

a/n: I KNOW IT TOOK ME FOREVER! I'M SORRY! Please, just please keep reading my story. I knot it took me almost a month, but it could've been worse! I could have abandoned the story completely! DON'T WORRY! That will never happen unless some hit man suddenly comes to my house to kill me. Even so, I'd make my spirit possess some person to log into my account and finish the story for me. One more thing, I'd like to thank all my faithful readers! OKAY, on with the chapter

Photographer's Log: **ENTRY 547**

You'll never believe what happened today! Go on, guess. Anakin Skywalker's home!!! It all happened when Jet and I were coming home from work. Suddenly, Jet spotted a comet falling to the ground. When she tried to take a picture, we saw it wasn't a comet, it was a SPACESHIP! Or at least half of one, Skywalker must've broken it somehow. Anyway, Jet and I rushed to follow it. Jet's a lot faster than me, actually. I don't if it's her drive to get a photo or if it was her long legs, but she got there in half the time it took me. So, we got there just in time to watch Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi get out of the ship that had been burnt to a crisp and into an air taxi. Great, now we had to run all the way to follow them. PERFECT! I was already beat from running to the ship, but with Jet pulling me by the arm I made it through. They stopped in front of a group of senators. Why am I not surprised? So as Skywalker got out of the taxi along with Palpatine while Obi-Wan stayed behind. Did I forget mention Palpatine had been kidnapped? Oops, I must've have been preoccupied. No matter, I am a GOSSIP photographer. People will always talk when a movie star gets kidnapped, but they couldn't care less if a _politician_ was kidnapped. That kind of thing is Jet's job. So anyway, when Anakin got out of the air taxi, he tried to talk Kenobi into walking out with him. Then, he acted all bummed when he had to face the politicians _alone._ PFFT, yeah right! He totally used reverse psychology to get some alone time with Senator Amidala! After chatting with Master Windu and all the senators, our lovely young couple was finally reunited after 5 cruel months. Jet and I watched the whole thing from the pillar right next to them. They didn't notice us! Seriously! Jet and I both set up our cameras and waited for the perfect kiss! C'mon, c'mon…snap! YES! BINGO! One big smack right on the lips! And this time I KEPT the camera, too! I could barely contain my joy, but Jet muffled my excitement.

"Shut it, nerfherder! Do you wanna get caught?!" She whispered quietly.

"C'mon, let's go. We got what we need." I whispered to her. Seriously, I was ready to _go._ I had been following these guys around for THREE YEARS! I needed a BREAK from them! However, Jet being a girl, she can't help but watch every moment of their tender reunion. It's like those stupid soap operas she always forces me to sit down and watch. Sarcastically Oh my gosh! It's not his baby! I couldn't tell when she spent the entire weekend at her lawyer's summer home! Anyway, we stuck around a bit longer. We could barely hear what they were saying, but we managed to figure it out.

Let's see if I can remember the whole conversation. Hmm, it started out with the usual "I missed you! I was worried about you!" speech that Amidala says EVERYTIME Skywalker comes home. We needed to get a little closer to hear the next part.

"Annie, I'm pregnant."

I wish I could tell you the rest of the conversation, but honestly I don't have a clue. I was already on the ground by then. As she said those three words, I lost all consciousness. I finally came to back at the apartment. Jet was so nice as to let me use her bed, but then I guess she was in a good mood with THAT revelation. HONESTLY! It's so HOT and JUICY; it's like hot SPICES from the heart of Tatooine. I almost thought I had died and gone to heaven! Jet could hardly contain herself either.

"Oh, good! You're awake! Can you believe it, Dex? They're having a baby! They're not even supposed to be together and now they're having a BABY!" Jet shouted in the privacy of her own apartment. As soon as I got the strength to stand again, I rushed to get my camera and headed for the door.

"Where are you going, Dex?" Jet asked me.

"Um, to give the boss our PHOTOS?! That's only what we've been trying to do all this time! We can get baby pics later, but this kiss can't wait much longer." I told her. Instantly, she ran up shoved me right back on the bed. Not only is she fast, she's strong, too.

"Oh, no you don't, Dex!" She said.

"Why the kriff not?!" I shouted. I was really confused. Why did she not want to turn in the photos? And why did she just push me on the bed? I know she's excited, but she couldn't possibly be in the mood to…

"Don't you see? If we turn in those photos, the minute the paper comes out, Amidala will realize she hasn't been careful enough and put her security levels to the MAX! Then, it'll be nearly IMPOSSIBLE to get baby pics! We have to keep her thinking her security is actually doing their job, and then as soon we get proof that she's pregnant with Skywalker's child, we pull the rug from under their feet." She said connivingly.

Wow, I was impressed. I love the way her mind works, Wait, did I just say that? AH! I have to erase that! No! I promised myself I would never erase one thought in my journal, because that would ruin the whole purpose, to keep track of every thought I have. Honestly, she did have a point. I guess my picture in the front of the paper will have to wait a little longer. UGH!


	9. Chapter 9 Midnight Run

Photographer's Log: **Entry 548**

When I got up this morning, I picked up my camera and I reviewed my photos as I always do. I got excited when I remembered I finally got the kiss shot of Skywalkidala, but then I remembered I can't turn them in until I get a shot that puts Anakin as the front runner as the father of Amidala's child. Jet couldn't be any happier. Seriously, what is it with women and babies? What are they even going to do with the kid? Well, that part is not my business, but getting a picture of him is. The thing is I've never gotten a baby picture before. I was hoping to get a picture of an Alderaanian prince or princess, but the poor Queen miscarried…twice. Ouch. Imagine fate toying with you, and giving false hope, twice! It only happened once when I fell off the building and broke the other camera.

So, Jet and I tried a new strategy today. We each decided to follow one person. We had to play rock-paper-scissors to see who got Amidala. I choose scissors, and she chose rock. Damn her rock to hell where it should smashed into a million pieces and stepped on by Satan himself! Now, I have to follow Skywalker. Do you know what happened last time I had to follow a Jedi?! I had to follow him into the sewers and I got bit by a bunch of giant sewer rats! I had to get a rabies vaccination soon afterwards, but I'll never feel completely clean again. Anyways, I spent the morning following Skywalker throughout the temple. It didn't work as well as it should have. I was in the temple for about an hour, but then another Jedi asked what I was doing here. I tried to tell him I was the janitor, but apparently it didn't work. He did the little hand-thingy and said I would leave immediately. What do you know? Five minutes later, I was standing outside the building. Stupid Jedi mind trick. Well, I probably wouldn't have found anything interesting in there anyway. It's not like he going to do anything stupid like shop for baby clothes on the internet in the library or something. I had a better chance of getting something suspicious outside the temple.

I bet Jet was having a great time! After going to ONE boring council meeting, she probably gets to follow Amidala around the mall. Man, that woman is a shopper. She got

#1 on _Weekly Galaxy's Best Spenders_. Most of the time, after she wears a dress, she gives it to her handmaiden or some little girl she found on the street. My mom bought one of her dresses at a charity auction.

So this afternoon, Jet and I met up when Skywalker snuck out of the temple at night. We knew better than to sneak into the apartment when we could get a perfectly good photo from outside the veranda and be spared from the lawsuit of trespassing. I got my old hovercar out of the shed where it had been forever. I hate to say it, but the plan was to drive the car around the apartment all night until we got a shot. I know it's tedious, but I can't think of a better plan. It would look too suspicious if there's a car just hovering in the middle of traffic in front of her apartment all night! We didn't have much luck during the first couple hours, but soon we saw Skywalker walking onto the veranda in his PJs with Amidala walking in her big blue nightgown a few minutes later, looking heavily pregnant. Cha-ching! I could hear the hallelujah bells now!

FATE HATES ME!!! Just as I was about to get the shot, my STUPID HUNK OF JUNK RAN OUT OF GAS!!! Jet wouldn't stop giving me sithspit when the car started falling down to the ground. Screaming, I clutched onto the seat and my precious camera. I WON'T go back into a coma! I REFUSE! Jet was screaming too as we plummeted into the ground. Good thing there is almost no traffic at midnight, or else we might've hit another hovercar. Jet wouldn't let me hear the end of it all the way home. She was even yelling at me for not refilling the gas tank while I was in the shower. Hey, I can't afford enough gas to keep the thing running forever! Especially with the recent prices! I would get a lunar-powered car, but those things are only available in, like, Hapes. I hate those snooty car salesmen there, too. The chicks are hot, but I feel like I'm in some exclusive country club. I really don't feel comfortable there. Oh well, I shall not give up! Dexter Snipley NEVER gives up!


	10. Chapter 10 Escape

Photographer's Log: **Entry 549**

So, Jet finally let me switch places with her today. Now, I follow Skywalker, and she follows Amidala. It's actually not all I thought it would be. With the whole "being pregnant" thing, Amidala can't really go anywhere. All she does now is pace back and forth through her apartment worrying about "Annie" and eating banja cake. She also hasn't taken that blue nightgown off all day. How I am watching all this you ask? I actually snuck in through her open veranda, and I hide behind her couch. I almost got caught by her golden protocol droid. She really seems to be close to that droid. I remember she got it when it was just a dull silver, but then she bought some gold plating for it. She seems to be really attached to her droids. That and the astromech droid are the only ones around (besides me) whenever Skywalker and Amidala hook up. The thing is they WON'T SHUT UP! Especially Goldie, man, sometimes I just walk out from my hiding spot and break his speakers. That little one with the multi-colored lights might stop me, though. He's kind of protective of his friends.

I wonder how Jet's doing. Was she able to get into the Jedi Temple? I didn't have much luck yesterday, so how is she supposed to have a better chance? So I was watching Amidala pace back and forth and then she turned on the news. The next thing you know, she starts crying. It turns out; the Jedi temple is on fire! Holy sithspit, Jet! She could be there right now! She might be hurt! Or for all I know, she may have even started the fire. So Amidala's rushing to the window, and she bursts into tears when she sees the smoke from miles away. Suddenly, I felt a buzzing in my pocket. My holophone was going off. I checked the caller ID; it was Jet! Ok, so apparently she's fine, for now. I snuck out of the apartment, and into the hallway to answer it.

"DEX! I never thought I'd say this, but…Help me!" Jet sounded panicky over the phone.

"Where are you?"

"I'm under a table in the Jedi Temple Archives! Hurry!" She yelled.

"I see the smoke, what happened?" I asked her.

"I'll tell you later, just get me OUT OF HERE!" She was at the point of breaking down. I ran out to my hovercar and drove all the way to the Jedi Temple. There were the authorities and a bunch of taped off areas, but an expert photographer can always get past regular guards. I got in through a side entrance, but the place was filled with smoke! There a bunch of Jedi running all over the place and they didn't seem to care that I was trespassing. Of course, the least thing I'd worry about is strangers if MY house was on fire. So I remembered the rules from school about fire (minus the "get out of a burning building as fast as you can" part) and got down and crawled on the ground. I've conquered water, falling off of buildings, and crashing hovercars, and now I was tackling fire. I found the way to the Archives, and I found Jet under the computer table coughing her lungs out. Now, I was the hero dragging her out of the building and back out into evening sky. She still had a bad cough, so I took her to a quick clinic, and they said she'll be fine once she coughed all the ashes out of her lungs. I was seriously worried about her for a minute. I almost thought she'd never get out of that fire, but I've come to know Jet, and I know not even the apocalypse would take her out. After the clinic, I took her home to rest. After a quick nap, she spilled everything.

She said she followed Skywalker into finding Mace Windu battling against PALPATINE! You have to be screwing me. That old man can FIGHT?! That's not even the best part! So if you're Skywalker and you find a Lord of the Sith fighting against a member of the Jedi council, you're probably gonna help Windu, right? WRONG! Skywalker actually CUTS OFF Windu's ARM, and then PALPATINE sends him out the window!!! I don't even know how I am writing this, because this is like the stories not even the best story tellers can explain thoroughly. I mean, the drama, the horror, the IRONY! Then, Skywalker bows to Palpatine and goes to kill ALL THE JEDI. That's right, I just said, ALL THE JEDI! Man, Amidala is going to be TICKED when he gets home! So that's how she ended up at the Temple, trying to get a picture before she almost got trampled by stampeding troopers. The first thing I asked her is if she got any good pictures. She slapped me, probably for thinking about pictures before her well-being, whoops. Then, she rolled her eyes and pulled out her camera to show me some AWESOME pics. She got everything. Man, the boss is going to have a heart attack. I asked her if she knew where Skywalker was now, she didn't know, but we'll find him tomorrow after we turn in the awesome pics.


	11. Chapter 11 The Final Photo Conclusion

Photographer's Log: Entry 549

Photographer's Log: **Entry 550**

This morning, Skywalker was nowhere to be found. NORMAL people would assume he was killed by "Order 66." Seriously, whose big idea was it anyway to program a secret code that gets clones to go on a murderous rampage? You'd think the Jedi would've bothered to make sure their troops were fool proof. Now I know you can defeat any Jedi armed with troops by calling out, "Order 66!" Or at least you could've, because the Jedi are going extinct. The last one I saw was the one running for dear life when I rescued Jet. Anyway, like I said, people think Anakin Skywalker is dead, but if you are one of the _elite_ members of society as I am, you'd know that HE is behind the Jedi wipeout.

OK, since Anakin Skywalker has turned homicidal, Jet and I agreed that it would be safer if NO ONE followed him. We'll just stick with the sweet and motherly Padme Amidala and let him come to us. I wanted to check out the remains of the Jedi Temple, but _no_, Jet wouldn't go in there even it was the only bomb shelter during a nuclear war. She couldn't even sleep last night because she was thinking about her ordeal. Oh man, I hope she doesn't turn into those trauma victims who sit in mental hospital all day staring at walls and hear screaming in their brains. So we spent most of the day in Amidala's apartment. She didn't look as panicky as I thought she would be. Maybe she doesn't know Anakin just led the massacre on the ENTIRE Jedi Order. I don't want to be the one who spills THAT kind of news to her. Fortunately, that guy cam sometime in the afternoon.

Guess WHAT?! Obi-Wan Kenobi is alive! Padme looked really happy to see him alive, but her joy was short-lived because good ol' Obi-Wan spilled the beans. He told her EVERYTHING! He told her how Anakin's a bad guy and that he killed all the Jedi in the temple, even the children! Whoa, how can she trust him with THEIR child if he just killed hundreds of younglings? Then, he asked her where Anakin was and it turns out he's on Mustafar. Then he found out about the baby and left. Why is it that when someone mentions only a planet's name that they know EXACTLY where to go? I mean, all they know is the _planet_, and the last time I checked, planets are HUGE! How can he possibly go straight to him and not search the whole planet first? Whatever, maybe it's some Jedi skill or something.

Soon after Kenobi left, Jet and I headed for the next ship to Mustafar, and we prayed that we'd somehow find him on the HUGE planet. So after a two-hour trip, luck finally came our way! After walking down an ashy road not far from the ship station, we found Skywalker in the volcanoes. Isn't it a little dangerous to be near a volcano? Then again, Skywalker LOVES danger. It's like his mistress; whenever he's not with Amidala, he's on a date with danger. So as we walk up to the building he's in, a ship is landing! We would've been caught had we not jumped behind a giant rock. So there we are sitting behind a rock when AMIDALA runs out of the ship!

She looked as pregnant as ever and there she was in Skywalker's arms. I grabbed my camera, and snapped the best shots of my career! YES! THE PICS ARE MINE! Jet was taking pictures too, but then she stopped suddenly.

"What is it?" I asked her.

"Listen to them." She said holding her ear to the scandalous couple. I listened closely to our power couple.

"_Obi-Wan's trying to turn you against me."_

"_He cares about us."_

"_Us?"_

"_He knows. He wants to help you!"_

So they're arguing, and I decide to switch my camera to camcorder mode because THIS IS BETTER THAN GOLD! IT'S PLATINUM! No, DIAMOND! They went on fighting about how he wants to ruler the empire with her, but she doesn't want to, and basically everything women get out of their precious soap operas. Then, KENOBI jumps out from Amidala's ship, and Skywalker gets so mad, he CHOKES Amidala! Seriously, I couldn't believe I was getting this on tape. Next thing I know, she's on the ground, and Kenobi and Skywalker take part in a mighty duel. Their fight moved from the landing platform to a room that smelled like corpses. YUCK! So once the coast was clear, we came out from behind the rock. The first thing Jet does is rush out to Amidala. Luckily, she found a pulse, so we figured she'd wake up in a few minutes. For the meantime, a hard floor surrounded by active volcanoes is NO place for a pregnant woman. Especially one who's been under serious stress like her. We moved her to the safety of her ship before following Skywalker and Kenobi.

This duel went a little farther than I expected it to. The video I was making will get, like, 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 hits once I post it on the Holonet. They were fighting in rains of lava, and they were hopping from platform to platform. Finally, they came to a winner when Kenobi jumped onto solid ground, and then Anakin stared at him with piercing yellow eyes. WHOA! Where did those come from? Is that secret Sith power, changing eye color?! Anyway, when _Skywalker _tries to jump, Kenobi HACKS off three of his limbs! Seriously! And to think these guys were best friends about two days ago! So Skywalker slides down near the lava, and catches on fire! He's burning to a crisp before my very eyes. I'm going to go down in gossip history when the boss sees this video!

So Kenobi rushed back to help Amidala, and we snuck on the ship. Yeah, we snuck past a Jedi without getting caught. Of course, he obviously had too much to think about to worry about stowaways. I mean, in the course of a couple days, this guy has lost pretty much every friend he ever had. The Jedi are no more, and his ex-best friend is burnt to a crisp. Poor guy. Amidala isn't looking too well, either. She hasn't woken up during the trip, and she's paler than ever. Kenobi met up with Bail Organa and Yoda at some hospital. Yoda survived, too? So are Kenobi and Yoda the only Jedi left in the galaxy?!

Jet and I found some medical gear lying around, so we put it in and snuck into the ER. I know it's illegal, but so was trespassing, but that didn't stop us! So we find Amidala's room, and as it turns out, the stress has caused to her to go into premature labor! This is weird, though. The only privacy she gets is a plastic tube covering her abdomen and down, and there is a glass wall for all her friends to see.

"Dex, if I ever have a baby, remind me never to come to THIS hospital.' Jet told me as we watched her give birth. It was actually really short. You'll never believe this though, she has TWINS! Good force, forget an article, Jet and I will have to publish an entire BOOK on our story. Heck, maybe even a movie!

Then, suddenly, my heart dropped and I lost all thoughts on my photos. As Amidala said her last words to her friend, she…she died, The heart monitor went flat and her friends all sighed and looked away trying to hold back tears. I couldn't move. She was just…gone. Just like that. Jet pulled me out of the emergency room. She also looked like she was going to cry.

"Dex, we can't do this." She said. I knew what she was talking about, and I agreed. How could I have been such a heartless jerk? All I had cared about was my stupid photo when she was being strangled. All I could think about was all the recognition I'd get after posting the story while she was dying. I watched her die, and I watched her lover die. He was burning, screaming in pain, and I was laughing and capturing it on tape. What kind of sadistic psycho am I?

"You're right, Jet. No one needs to see this family suffer. The public shall never know Amidala died after her love strangled her. The last thing her friends want right now is evidence of such a chaotic affair released to the public right after she died. She should at least be mourned with respect. I could never taint the dead's honor." I said deleting clearing all the memory in my camera. As I did so, Jet looked at me with great shock, and then great admiration, and then she planted one on me. That's right, Jet and I actually kissed, and it wasn't bad either.

Tomorrow morning, I'm going to go to my boss and ask for a more respectful position in the magazine, like the horoscopes. Then, I'll ask Jet if she wants to go to dinner or something.

THE END


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